~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LEADERSHIP WIRED John C. Maxwell's FREE Semimonthly Newsletter Designed To Maximize Your Leadership Potential. July 2003 - Volume 6, Issue 13 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In This Issue: * Maxwell Moment - Breathing Room * Leadership@Large - Surveying the Leadership Landscape * Interview - Asking the Right Questions * Quick Quotes - Choose Your Words Carefully ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Maxwell Moment ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BREATHING ROOM By Dr. John C. Maxwell When I mentor young leaders, I always stress to them the importance of having margins in their lives. What exactly are margins? Margins give you breathing room so that when something goes wrong—as it surely will sooner or later— the problem isn't compounded because you don't have an answer. Let's take an example from the world of finances. Having financial margins means you're putting a little bit of money aside regularly so that when you get hit with an unexpected economic problem, you're able to take care of it without it turning into a crisis. Margins don't just apply to money, of course. They also apply to your time and your relationships. Here's another way to look at it. When you're living a life with margins, you conduct yourself in such a way that you always have some IOUs you can collect. Those IOUs might take the form of goodwill from another person, money you have saved or even time you have set aside in case you don't get a certain project done. Whatever the case, margins help you manage situations that could easily turn into major disasters otherwise. Although margins are extremely valuable, they don't just happen naturally. As I make it a point to tell young leaders, you have to work hard to build them into your life. But it's definitely worth the trouble, and here's why. With time, effort and purpose, margins become options. And options, in turn, give you choices, so that when you experience some kind of hardship, it's okay. You might take a few hits, and you might come away with a few bumps and bruises, but with margins, the pain is often only temporary. This isn't rocket science. In fact, it's actually very simple. If you work hard enough and long enough with margins, those margins eventually grow into options that affect your personal fulfillment and quality of life. You don't have to work when you don't want to work, and you don't have to do what you don't want to do. You get to a point where you have an incredible amount of freedom, all because of the options. This reminds me of something the late Mary Kay Ash, founder of the cosmetics empire that bears her name, believed very strongly. "Nothing's easy," she said, "but everything's possible if you work hard." In other words, you can do anything in this world if you want to do it badly enough and if you are willing to pay the price. You might look at your life and think, "There's no way I can develop any margins with my checkbook, my family or my relationships with people at work." But what Mary Kay said definitely applies. It's not easy to develop margins, but it is possible if you work hard. And as I said before, the resulting freedom you'll experience is definitely worth the effort. Look at it this way. For people without margins, everything is difficult and some things are impossible. For people with margins, however, some things are difficult but nothing is impossible. While it's certainly true that far more people live life without margins than with them, that doesn't have to be the case for you. Come up with the specific steps you need to take to build some margins into your finances, your relationships and your calendar, and then get busy. The sooner you begin, the sooner you'll start benefiting from an ever-increasing range of options. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Leadership@Large ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ HIGH-PRICED COMMON SENSE Jim Collins has never actually run a company himself, but he has made a lucrative career out of telling CEOs how to manage their businesses. Exactly how lucrative? The author of the bestselling books "Built to Last" and "Good to Great" rakes in $45,000 for a 45- minute speech (yes, that equals a cool $1,000 per minute) and $20,000 for his half-day "labs," Forbes magazine reported recently. He accepts only one in 25 prospective jobs these days, and yet he still does enough to earn $3 million a year from the half-day labs alone. What exactly is he saying that elicits such a response? "At first glance, Collins' sage advice seems to offer not so much insight as a blinding glimpse of the obvious," writes Forbes' Robert Lenzner. "In an era when business managers are tormented by corner-office scandals, the bear market, the war and fears of terrorism, his proclamations are a kind of comfort food." Collins has his own theory about why top-level leaders want his help coming up with common-sense solutions to their management problems. "For 10 years everyone had the luxury to think they were great," he says. "But all of a sudden they woke up to discover that they weren't great—the markets had been great." That's where Collins and his "reassuring truisms" come into play. "CEOs need someone to push and challenge them," he says. "I am just the lucky beneficiary of the turbulent times." For more information, see: http://www.forbes.com/forbes/2003/0428/068.html _________________________________________________________________ GUEST COMMENTS: GOING THE EXTRA MILE By Chip Eichelberger Recently I was flying back from a speaking event and I sat near the plane entrance. I watched as the flight attendant reached into a drawer in the galley and handed "wings" in plastic bags to children as they boarded. She showed little emotion—she didn't speak, and she didn't even offer a smile. I noticed parents unwrapping the wings as they found their seats. As I watched this happen multiple times, I thought, "That is not a great experience for either the flight attendant or the children. There must be a better way to do that with more impact!" Now, how do you share something like that without looking like a big jerk? I used my best rapport skills to get the ball rolling and then said, "I know that you have many tasks you have do to over and over as a flight attendant. I couldn't help but notice the way you handed out the wings to those future frequent flyers. I think the value the kids place on receiving the wings is based on what you say, how you say it and the experience created in that moment. While that might get to be routine for you, I noticed that you just placed the wings in their hands without saying anything." I was shocked at the response I got. The flight attendant looked at me and said with little emotion, "It's the thought that counts." I can certainly appreciate the sentiment behind her answer, but sometimes I feel we may offer this statement as an excuse when we really are giving a poor effort. Sadly, many will succumb to the Law of Familiarity, which says the more you are around something or someone, the more you take it, him or her for granted. Through repeated exposure to a task, a job or a person, you can lose your fire and passion for what you are doing. The tendency is to focus on what you don't like instead of what you do like, enjoy or admire about the task, your job or the other person. This jaded attitude can happen to anyone, and apparently it happened to this flight attendant. It would be a challenge to connect and cheerfully say hello and goodbye to hundreds of people every day, but it is part of a flight attendant's job description! Where have you stopped giving your best effort with your family or in your career? What are you taking for granted? Where have you let yourself off the hook by saying, "It is the thought that counts"? Does this happen with your customers, your teammates, your spouse or your children? On another flight a few months later, I happened to sit next to a woman who was in charge of training the flight attendants for this airline. She loved my story and said she would use it as a "how-not-to" example. "I consistently preach to the new flight attendants that good is not good enough," she said. "To deliver exceptional service, you have to go the extra mile." It does take more than a thought to count and to truly have a lasting impact on others. How can you go the extra mile to provide a better experience for others today? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Interview ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONS When John Miller began speaking about personal accountability in 1995, he had a hard time selling the concept. Potential clients didn't think personal accountability was a relevant topic; they wanted him to address subjects such as sales skills, attitude or leadership. Miller wasn't deterred, however. And now, in the aftermath of scandals stretching from the Oval Office to corporate offices around the country, he finds people are hungry for his message—a message he says is as applicable at home as it is in the workplace. He summarized his thoughts on personal accountability in "QBQ! The Question Behind the Question", a little book that has sold 250,000 copies since it was released in 2001. We talked to him recently about the QBQ and how it works. Leadership Wired: What exactly is the QBQ? John Miller: The QBQ is a term for taking a lousy question and changing it into a question that puts us on the path of personal accountability. One thing I discovered working with corporations for many years is that it was very easy for people to ask, "Why do we have to go through all this change? Why is this happening to me? When will that department do their job right?" I used to sit in the back of these sessions that I was facilitating for executive teams and sales management teams and I used to think, "You know, there's got to be a better question." One day, I was reading an article in a business magazine where top management was blaming supervisors for something and I thought, "The wrong question is, 'Why can't the supervisors do their jobs right?' The right question—the question behind the question—would be something like, 'As a senior management team, what have we done to create a culture where the supervisors don't know how to do their jobs? How can we be more effective?'" LW: When was this? Miller: That was the mid-90s. I went out to a client group and I taught this idea called the "question behind the question." I came back a few months later and by golly, this medical device manufacturing company was using what I had taught them. I thought, "I have got something here that I really need to teach to more people." LW: What does the QBQ entail? Miller: The question behind the question is an idea; it's a tool; it's very practical. It produces results. It eliminates blame, victim thinking or complaining, and procrastination. When you hear people saying, "Who made the mistake?"—that's really a form of blame. The better question would be what we call the question behind the question. If I reframe it and put the word "I" in it, I might now be able to ask, "How can I help solve the problem?" instead of, "Who made the mistake?" So now I'm into a problem- solving mode as opposed to a blame mode. Inside of organizations every day people are asking, "Why do we have to go through all this change? Why can't we do things the way we used to do them?" That's a form of victim thinking, feeling sorry for ourselves, complaining about stuff we can't control. The QBQ there might be, "How can I adopt to the changing world?" The minute I turn that around, I start working on the only entity I can control; I start working on changing me. The third piece beyond blame and victim thinking is procrastination. What you find in a lot of companies are people standing around water coolers saying, "When are they going to tell us what's going on?" In the same moment, they could have been asking, "How can I be more effective? What can I do today to make a difference?" The question behind the question turns those bad questions into good questions and puts me on a path to accountability. Then I can take ownership. I can be creative. I can strive for excellence. Quite simply, I can be a more effective leader. I define leadership as the moment-by-moment disciplining of my thinking. Real leaders, at work and at home, are always controlling their thinking. They're saying, "Don't slip into the negative; stay in the positive." The QBQ is the tool that helps them do that. LW: Your book spells out three guidelines for QBQs. What are they? Miller: The question behind the question begins with the words "what" or "how." The lousy questions that take us to victim thinking tend to begin with "why." Why me? Questions that take us to procrastination begin with "when"—"When will they solve the problem?" And blame questions tend to begin with "who." The purpose of a "who" question is usually to indict somebody. Leaders don't indict people. So the better question begins with what or how, not why, when or who. The next step is to remove the "theys," "thems" and "yous" from the lousy questions—"Why don't you do your job right? When are they going to give us the vision?"—and start asking questions that contain the word "I." "What can I do?" The third guideline is that the QBQ always naturally focuses on action. LW: When you talk to leaders about the QBQ, what are some common first responses? Miller: Let's say I do a 60- or 70-minute keynote. In the first 20 minutes, as I'm talking about accountability—what it is, what it's not—people are always sitting there thinking, "Boy, do my people need this. My grown son who's had three jobs in a year, he needs it. My wife, boy I wish she had been here to hear this." That's until we get into the section about "I can only change myself." There's nothing new under the sun about the fact that I can only change myself. But people pick up the book or come into a QBQ session thinking, "Yeah, but if the CEO would just give us the vision" or, "If my people would just do their job." So I think one of the greatest takeaways—and I get this from leaders all the time—is, "You know what? I was blaming my people, I was blaming upper management. I was blaming the other departments. By reading QBQ, I have learned—once again—the truth that I can only change me." As a leader-manager, you can coach, counsel, guide, facilitate, teach, model, confront and terminate, but you never change the person you're managing. There's nothing new about that, right? LW: No! Miller: I can only ask today, "How I can be a more effective coach?" That's a QBQ! "How can I be a more effective leader? What can I do to get to know my people better? How can I change my style with this person who's not producing?" Leaders tell me it keeps them out of the blame-and-victim mode and it keeps them focused on changing themselves, which is effective leadership. There's a key part of the QBQ about humility being the cornerstone of leadership. Truly, the effective leader is asking, "How can I improve myself?" That doesn't mean they never confront. It doesn't mean they don't try to teach, but the humble person is always working on improving themselves. When managers and leaders start asking, "What can I do differently? How can I improve myself?"—the people around them are more open to candid dialogue. And the organization just hums along better. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Quick Quotes ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CHOOSE YOUR WORDS CAREFULLY "A word is dead when it is said, some say. I say it just begins to live that day." - Emily Dickinson "During a long life I have had to eat my own words many times, and I have found it a very nourishing diet." - Winston Churchill "What you keep by you, you may change and mend; but words, once spoken, can never be recalled." - Wentworth Roscommon _________________________________________________________________ Leadership Wired is written by Dr. John C. Maxwell and is available via e-mail on a free subscription basis. You can subscribe at: http://www.INJOY.com/Newsletters. Questions about document transmission or editorial comments? Contact mailto:feedback@INJOY.com. Visitors may use the information contained in this e-newsletter by placing the following credit line: "This article is used by permission from Dr. John C. Maxwell's free monthly e-newsletter 'Leadership Wired' available at www.INJOY.com." This information cannot be used for resale in any manner. Copyright (c) 2003, INJOY, Inc.