~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LEADERSHIP WIRED John C. Maxwell's FREE Semimonthly Newsletter Designed To Maximize Your Leadership Potential. May 2004 - Volume 7, Issue 10 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In This Issue: * Maxwell Moment – Help that Helps * Leadership@Large – Surveying the Leadership Landscape * Interview – Building on Success * Quick Quotes – Mind over Matter ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Maxwell Moment ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ HELP THAT HELPS By Dr. John C. Maxwell When my wife, Margaret, and I were young, we had a desire to develop some kind of financial security for our future. There was only one problem. With the income I was making at the time, it just wasn't going to happen. When I had an opportunity to invest in a nursing home partnership, however, I couldn't just turn it down. We didn't have enough money for the investment and my salary wasn't big enough to get a loan from a bank. So I decided to ask a friend for help. My friend loaned me the money I needed, and, in return, I helped him get into the partnership too. As that investment started paying off, Margaret and I never took a penny. We gave some of the money away, but we funneled most of it right back to my friend until the loan was paid off completely. Later, when we began to have other opportunities in nursing homes, Margaret and I realized that we never would have gotten to that point if my friend—and others like him—hadn't given us a little extra help along the way. Someone once said, "If you see a turtle on top of a fencepost, you know he had help getting there." I've never been inclined to compare myself to a turtle, but in this case, the comparison is accurate. Like that turtle, I didn't get where I am today on my own. I'm not that good. I'm not that fast. I'm not that smart. I'm not that gifted. That's the way it is with most—if not all—truly successful people: They didn't get there on their own. Think about your own situation. Are you where you are today entirely of your own accord? I doubt it. You may be incredibly gifted, intelligent, and industrious, but I suspect that you, too, can think of at least a few people who gave you a leg up when you needed it the most. There are two kinds of help that help me. The first one is opportunity. It's great to be on the receiving end of such help, but it's even more wonderful to be in a position to open a door for someone else. As the saying goes, "An opportunity is never lost; it's just passed on to someone else." The second kind of help that helps me is advice from the right people. If you accept advice from everyone or take it from no one, you're headed for disaster. But when you get good counsel from the right people, you set the stage for success. So who are the right people? * People who have success and experience in the area where you need help. * People who have unconditional love for you. * People who have good thinking skills. * People who have nothing to gain by your choice. * People who are not emotionally involved in your situation. Publilius Syrus was exactly right when he said, "Many receive advice, but only the wise profit from it." When you get advice from the right people, listen to it and heed it. That's how you grow—personally and professionally. The longer I live, the more grateful I am for people who have assisted me with opportunities and advice. I can express my gratitude to them in words, but another way I can do it is by helping other people the way I have been helped. As a leader, you're in a great position to do that too. When you have been blessed by someone else, don't be a reservoir. Be a river. Pass it on. Add value to someone else. Take it from a turtle on a fencepost. Lend a helping hand when you can. Few things in life are more rewarding. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Leadership@Large ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ RULES OF GREAT FEEDBACK As a leader, you are often called upon to provide feedback—about an employee's performance, about potential growth strategies, about new products and services, etc. Unfortunately, most people aren't very good at giving good feedback. That's according to Seth Godin, author of "Purple Cow: Transform Your Business by Being Remarkable." From an article in the March 2004 issue of "Fast Company", Godin offers the following four rules of great feedback. 1. Provide analysis, not opinion. "Analysis is a lot harder than opinion because everyone is entitled to his or her own taste," Godin writes. "But even though it's scary to contribute your analysis to a colleague's proposal, it's still absolutely necessary." 2. Say the right thing at the right time. For example, "If you're asked to comment on a first-draft proposal that will eventually wind its way to the chairman's office, this is not the time to point out that 'alot' is two words, not one," the author says. "Instead, try to figure out what sort of feedback will have the most positive effect on the final outcome, and contribute it now." 3. If you have something nice to say, say it. This does two things, Godin writes. First, it shows the person you're speaking to that you're on his side, "making it more likely that your constructive criticism will actually be implemented." It also increases the chances that the person will seek feedback from you again. 4. Give feedback, no matter what. Do it even if your last bit of feedback was ignored. "You think your analysis is a bit shaky or you don't wield much power," Godin says. Why? "Your analysis (at the very least) could be the kernel of an idea that starts me down a totally different path," he writes. For more information, see: http://www.fastcompany.com/magazine/80/sgodin.html _________________________________________________________________ BE YOURSELF It's okay to have leadership role models and mentors, but if you start trying to emulate all the characteristics of a particular leader, you're doomed to fail so says Bill George, former chairman and CEO of Medtronic and author of "Authentic Leadership: Rediscovering the Secrets to Creating Lasting Value." "The one essential quality you must have to lead is to be your own person, authentic in every regard," George writes in the Winter 2004 issue of "Leader to Leader." "The best leaders are autonomous and highly independent." "To achieve authenticity, a leader has to develop a leadership style that is consistent with his or her own personality and character," George says. Organizational pressures often push people to adhere to a certain leadership style, but if that style is not consistent with who they are, they can never become authentic leaders. A key part of being authentic is "accepting your faults as well as being able to use your strengths," George asserts. This isn't always easy, however, especially for people who are eager to win the approval of others. "I, too, have struggled in getting comfortable with my weaknesses—my tendency to intimidate others with an overly challenging style, my impatience, and my occasional lack of tact, George says. "Only recently have I realized that my strengths and weaknesses are two sides of the same coin. For years I felt I had to be perfect, or at least appear that I was on top of everything. I tried to hide my weaknesses from others, fearing they would reject me if they knew who I really was. Eventually, I realized that they could see my weaknesses more clearly than I could. In attempting to cover things up, I was only fooling myself." To read more about how to become an authentic leader, see: http://leadertoleader.org/leaderbooks/L2L/winter2004/george.html ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Interview ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BUILDING ON SUCCESS Marshall Goldsmith is a world authority in helping successful leaders get even better. As such, he has taken business coaching to a new level: If his clients—typically very high-level executives in multi-billion-dollar companies—don't change (as defined by the people around them), he doesn't get paid. The American Management Association recently named Goldsmith one of 50 great thinkers and leaders who have impacted the field of management. He has written or edited 18 books, including "Global Leadership: The Next Generation" and "Coaching for Leadership." We recently visited with him about his work and about how successful leaders can develop themselves. Leadership Wired: What is your definition of a successful leader? Marshall Goldsmith: By "successful leader," I don't mean that the person has to be the CEO of a multi-billion-dollar company. Our process is designed to help anyone who is in a leadership role, to function effectively in the world and feel good about himself or herself. Our process is designed to help people who are adjusting well in society. We do not do therapy and are not focused on dealing with deep-seated psychological issues. LW: If a leader is already successful, what kind of changes might he or she need to make? Goldsmith: One of the great challenges of working with successful people is the "superstition trap." The superstition trap occurs when non-functional behavior is followed by positive reinforcement. Any human, in fact, any animal will tend to replicate behavior that is followed by positive reinforcement. The more successful leaders become, the more positive reinforcement they get. When we get results, we may assume that everything we did contributed to the results. In reality, almost everyone is successful "because of" many reasons and "in spite of" doing a couple things that can be improved. I have never met anyone so good that there was nothing on the "in-spite-of" list! I was interviewed in the Harvard Business Review and asked a good question: What's the No. 1 challenge of the successful executives you coach? And the answer was "winning too much." If it's important, we want to win. If it's meaningful, we want to win. If it's trivial, we want to win. If it's not worth it, we still want to win! I use a case study that 75 percent of my successful clients fail. When I say "fail," I mean they fail themselves! They say, "What I would do is the opposite of what I should do!" In this case study, you want to go to dinner at restaurant X; your husband/wife/partner/significant other wants to go to dinner at restaurant Y. You have a heated argument. You eat at restaurant Y; it was not your choice. The food tastes awful and the service is terrible. What do you do? Option A: Critique the food, point out your partner was wrong, and that this mistake could have been avoided if only you had listened to you. Option B: Shut up, eat the stupid food, try to enjoy it and have a nice evening. Seventy-five percent of my clients say, "What would I do? Critique the food. What should I do? Shut up." It's hard for smart, successful people not to win. LW: How do you help them to get over that? Goldsmith: One simple suggestion is to stop, take a breath, slow down your 275-mile-an-hour brain and ask one question before speaking: "Is it worth it?" One of my clients is the CEO of one of the world's largest companies. He reported that when he was able to breathe, slow down his mind and think, 50 percent of the time he decided, "Am I right? Maybe. Is it worth it? No!" LW: Are successful leaders typically open to changing? How does a leader know when he or she needs to change? Goldsmith: That is a very good question, and it's one of the most common questions I get. The answer is, I don't know. The reason I don't know is, the only people that work with me are people who are interested in doing what I do. What I do is very well published and I have a very clear methodology. The only people who call me are people who are interested in improving their leadership skills. What percent of the entire world that is, I have no idea. But I do know that the desire to improve leadership skills has gone up dramatically in the past few years. More and more leaders are asking for feedback, getting coaching, and making public efforts to improve. The trend line is very positive in our field. LW: What are some signals or things leaders can notice about themselves or what's going on in their lives that might indicate they need to make a change? Goldsmith: I'll rephrase your question. Peter Drucker has said, the leader of the past knew how to tell, while the leader of the future knows how to ask. One suggestion I typically have for leaders is get in the habit of asking their co-workers for ideas in terms of how they can improve, carefully listening to these suggestions, developing plans based on this input, and following up on a regular basis. Don't wait for co-workers to give you signals. Proactively reach out and ask! When you proactively reach out and ask, you start learning about how you can improve. You don't have to wait. Most people we work with manage people that Peter Drucker would call knowledge workers. The definition of a knowledge worker is they know more about what they're doing than their boss does. When you manage people that know more than you about what they're doing, you can't tell them what to do and how to do it. You have to ask, listen, learn, and involve them. A big change in leadership from the past to the future is the leader is now much more focused on involving others and much less focused on being the expert and telling people what to do. LW: What is your process for teaching leaders to develop themselves? Goldsmith: The first step is ask for input. What I now suggest is something called "feed-forward instead of feedback." Ask for ideas about the future more than feedback about the past. Feed- forward is much more comfortable for co-workers. They can give you 80 percent of the same content without feeling threatened or embarrassed. Get in the habit of asking, "If you had some suggestions to help me become a more effective leader in the future, what would they be?" Get colleagues to focus on the future, not the past! After asking for suggestions for the future, we encourage leaders to listen to the ideas without expressing an opinion or a judgment. We encourage leaders to thank co-workers for their suggestions and respond in a manner that is positive, simple, focused, and fast. In the old days, I used to suggest that the participants in my classes all pick one to three areas for improvement. I then changed to one or two. Now I usually suggest one! My partner, Howard Morgan, and I are publishing an article in September that involves findings from over 86,000 respondents in eight major corporations. The results are clear. Leaders who pick key areas for improvement, recruit their co-workers to help them get better, and follow up periodically, are almost always seen as becoming more effective. Leaders who don't follow-up don't improve. By the way, this process not only works at work. It works at home! Pick one behavior that will help you become a better spouse or partner, ask for suggestions on how you can improve in the future, listen to your partner's ideas, and follow-up on a regular basis. You can get better! - Interview by Lois Flowers, INJOY consulting editor ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Quick Quotes ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MIND OVER MATTER "The winners in life think constantly in terms of I can, I will, and I am. Losers, on the other hand, concentrate their waking thoughts on what they should have done, or what they don't do." - Denis Waitley "The key to success is holding in your conscious mind what you want to achieve and then striving in everything you do to make the image reality." - Dr. Norman Vincent Peale "The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible." - Richard M. DeVos _________________________________________________________________ Leadership Wired is written by Dr. John C. Maxwell and is available via e-mail on a free subscription basis. You can subscribe at: http://www.INJOY.com/Newsletters. Questions about document transmission or editorial comments? Contact mailto:feedback@INJOY.com. Visitors may use the information contained in this e-newsletter by placing the following credit line: "This article is used by permission from Dr. John C. Maxwell's free monthly e-newsletter 'Leadership Wired' available at www.INJOY.com." This information cannot be used for resale in any manner. Copyright (c) 2004, INJOY, Inc.