~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LEADERSHIP WIRED John C. Maxwell's FREE Semimonthly Newsletter Designed To Maximize Your Leadership Potential. November 2004 - Volume 7, Issue 21 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In This Issue: * Maxwell Moment – Building Better Relationships * Leadership@Large – Surveying the Leadership Landscape * Book Review – Perception is Reality * Quick Quotes – Listen Carefully ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Maxwell Moment ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BUILDING BETTER RELATIONSHIPS By Dr. John C. Maxwell A few years ago, National Public Radio's Workplace Correspondent, David Molpus put the word out on npr.org that he was doing a story on bad bosses and wanted real-life examples. Within two days, he had received more than 300 e-mails. While some were from employees who wanted to defend their bosses, many described behavior that, from a relational standpoint, was downright appalling. "My former boss...had a habit of snapping fingers to summon support staff, or, if in search of a secretary, would bang on the women's restroom door calling out names until someone responded," wrote one person who answered Molpus' request for anecdotes. "I have had a weight problem all my life," another website visitor wrote. "I had a boss who told me, twice, that 'we have to teach you how to walk like a lady instead of charging around here like an elephant.'" According to an article on npr.org, other frequently mentioned bad-boss behavior included "showering criticism while stinting on praise" and, acting like an employee's best friend one day and his worst enemy the next. When I read about such behavior, I'm reminded how critical good relational skills are in the life of a leader. Your job description might say you're in charge of a project, a system, a department, or an entire company. But when you're a leader, a key focus of your work is leading people. The people in your sphere of influence aren't machines; they're unique beings with their own personalities, talents, shortcomings, and needs. That means you can't take a cookie- cutter approach to your relationships at work. You have to get to know the members of your team individually. You have to find out what motivates each one, and then incorporate that into how you lead them. At the same time, there are certain relationship rules that every leader should follow. Here are five: 1. Get along with yourself. There's a reason why this rule is No. 1 on my list. If you learn to get along with yourself, then you'll find it will be easier to get along with the people around you. Read this carefully: hurting people hurt people. Over the years, I've observed that people who can't get along with themselves can't get along with anyone else, either. If your act's not together, you're going to have relationship problems all your life. So learn to like yourself. 2. Value people. Valuing people will keep you from manipulating them. It will keep you from treating your employees like servants or slaves (see previously mentioned examples of bad-boss behavior). It will keep you from handling others badly simply because you're having a bad day. Of course, you can't just give lip service to valuing people. It's not something you can fake. You cannot make another person feel important if you secretly feel that he or she is a nobody. 3. Make the effort to form relationships. It takes a great deal of energy to develop relationships. I understand that. I also know that, as a leader, you have plenty of other responsibilities that require large amounts of energy, including the very act of leading itself. But though it might be tempting to put relationship building on the back burner as you focus on these other things, I encourage you not to do it. When you invest in relationships—with the people you lead, with your peers, with professional colleagues, etc.—you build a network that can provide encouragement, inspiration and support during good times and bad. And you also avoid one of humanity's saddest states: loneliness. 4. Understand the reciprocity rule. What is this rule? Over time, people come to share reciprocally, similar attitudes toward each other. For example, if you have a good attitude toward others and you maintain a good attitude toward them, eventually they'll have a good attitude towards you. Conversely, if you have a bad attitude toward someone and you continue to maintain that bad attitude toward him, eventually (if not sooner), he'll have a bad attitude toward you. In other words, when it comes to attitudes, what comes around, goes around. 5. Follow the Golden Rule. You may have been looking for something a bit more revolutionary, but there's a reason this principle has withstood the test of time. If you want to have productive, authentic relationships with the people you lead and work with, do unto others as you'd have them to do unto you. If you follow these rules, you'll have a growing number of relationships that add value to your life and make you a better person. But it won't stop with you. As you practice these principles, the people you lead will notice. And not only will they notice, they'll start following your example. For leaders who value people, the rewards don't get much greater than that. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Leadership@Large ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A NATURAL PROCESS Although the reading public readily devours books that promote the leadership methods of contemporary military heroes, football coaches, and well-known business leaders, at least one author has serious doubts about whether the secrets of their success can be passed on in a book. "The problem with our become-a-leader-in-30-days craze is that what worked for [Jack] Welch and [Lee] Iacocca is not readily transferable," Pulitzer Prize-winning writer David Halberstam writes in a recent issue of Fast Company. "I think you had to be Lee in order to be like Lee; I don't think you could be Lee through study." Halberstam, who has written extensively about wars and military leaders, says that in most fields, leadership development is a natural process, rather than something that is taught or transferred. "Leaders are men and women who have chosen the right profession," he writes. "They're good at it, and because they're good at it, they like it, and because they like it, they're even better at it. ...They've understood their field from the start, and they've studied it without even knowing they've studied it." These individuals may become aware of their potential early in their careers. But they often don't become serious until mid-career "because their own talent surprises them—they were not that brilliant when they were in college or just starting out," Halberstam writes. "Academic excellence, after all, rarely translates into professional success, and the special intelligence that makes leaders thrive in their field is not necessarily an intelligence that transfers well to other fields." So what sets these later-blooming leaders apart? "They are extremely well prepared, and they push themselves hard," Halberstam writes. "Most crucial to leadership, they give off a unique aura, the sum of their confidence, their tone of voice, their feeling for command. They are not people you want to fail." To read more, see http://fastcompany.com/magazine/86/halberstam. html _________________________________________________________________ BAD EXAMPLES Speaking of leadership books, most titles available these days focus on how to be a better leader. That is, after all, the goal of most good leaders. But Barbara Kellerman, a research director at Harvard University's Kennedy School of Government, approaches the topic from a different angle in her new book, "Bad Leadership: What It Is, How It Happens, and Why It Matters." "Anyone not living in a cave can see that bad leadership is as ubiquitous as it is insidious," Kellerman said in a recent interview published in Harvard Business School's Working Knowledge e-newsletter. "That is not to say that bad leadership is more prevalent than good leadership, any more than we would say that bad people are in greater number than good people. But it is to argue that human nature is complex and nuanced, as prone to be revealed in gray and black as in white." After reviewing hundreds of cases of bad leadership, Kellerman came up with seven distinct categories of bad leaders: incompetent, rigid, intemperate, callous, corrupt, insular, and evil. Different lessons can be learned from each group, but there are a few rules of bad leadership that apply universally, Kellerman says. "Every one of the stories told in my book points to the importance of the follower," she told Working Knowledge. "Simply put, there is no bad leadership without bad followership." To read more, see http://hbswk.hbs.edu/item.jhtml?id=4390&t= leadership ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Book Review ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PERCEPTION IS REALITY The Transparency Edge: How Credibility Can Make or Break You in Business By Barbara Pagano and Elizabeth Pagano (McGraw-Hill, 2004) When it comes to credibility, perception is reality. A leader may think he is honest, approachable, trustworthy, and appreciative of his team's efforts, but if his people think otherwise—for whatever reason—he has a credibility problem. That translates into a leadership problem, especially in a post-Enron business environment that places a high premium on full disclosure. The solution, according to leadership expert Barbara Pagano and her daughter, business journalist Elizabeth Pagano, lies in the concept of transparency—an increasingly popular management buzzword that some people believe may be the corporate world's antidote to corruption. However, as the Paganos write in "The Transparency Edge," "transparency alone will not result in a perception of credibility any more than the open-book philosophy of the 1990s did." Leaders must practice "responsible transparency," which involves cultivating an acute sense of how much and what information to share, and how to deliver it in ways that are caring, respectful, and principled. This may sound like a lofty goal, but the Paganos assert that leaders can achieve this "what-you-see-is-what-you-get" style by adhering to the nine key behaviors they outline in their book. Among them: being completely honest at all times, remaining composed in stressful situations, keeping promises, apologizing when appropriate, delivering bad news well, and gathering honest feedback from others. The authors use real-life examples and solid statistical analysis to show why these behaviors are critical to organizational success, what happens when leaders fail to practice them and how they can be implemented. By including self-surveys with each behavior, they encourage readers to honestly evaluate how they're doing—through their own eyes as well as from the perspectives of the people around them. Of particular interest is the Paganos discussion of honesty, or, as they call it, "the hub on the leadership wheel." "To be credible, you must be overwhelmingly honest—so honest that people never question whether what you say is the truth as you know it," they write. In addition to being as forthcoming as possible, practicing overwhelming honesty also involves utilizing the "vastly underused option" of saying "I know, but I can't tell you." Throughout "The Transparency Edge," the Paganos gently force readers to identify possible blind spots and weaknesses. But they also reveal very specific, highly practical ways that leaders can overcome these shortcomings and begin the deliberate process of restoring or enhancing credibility. Because a person's credibility has so much to do with what other people think of him or her, it is often difficult to identify areas that need improvement without soliciting feedback—the Paganos call it "gathering intelligence"—from colleagues, managers, direct reports, and customers. Leaders who never saw the need for 360-degree performance assessments may feel differently after reading "The Transparency Edge." Practicing the kind of transparent leadership that builds credibility isn't easy. "It can be hard, painful, exhausting, and even risky," the authors write. As a result, it takes both know-how and courage. But, as "The Transparency Edge" clearly demonstrates, the rewards—both personal and organizational—are worth it. - Review by Lois Flowers, INJOY consulting editor Editor's Note: Watch for an interview with Barbara Pagano and Elizabeth Pagano in an upcoming issue of "Leadership Wired." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Quick Quotes ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LISTEN CAREFULLY "We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak." - Epictetus "The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said." - Peter F. Drucker "Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk." - Doug Larson _________________________________________________________________ Leadership Wired is written by Dr. John C. Maxwell and is available via e-mail on a free subscription basis. You can subscribe at: http://www.INJOY.com/Newsletters. Questions about document transmission or editorial comments? Contact mailto:feedback@INJOY.com. Visitors may use the information contained in this e-newsletter by placing the following credit line: "This article is used by permission from Dr. John C. Maxwell's free monthly e-newsletter 'Leadership Wired' available at www.INJOY.com." This information cannot be used for resale in any manner. Copyright (c) 2004, INJOY, Inc.