~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LEADERSHIP WIRED John C. Maxwell's FREE Semimonthly Newsletter Designed To Maximize Your Leadership Potential. November 2004 - Volume 7, Issue 22 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In This Issue: * Maxwell Moment – Make Yourself Useful * Leadership@Large – Surveying the Leadership Landscape * Interview – Transparent Leadership * Quick Quotes – The Importance of Patience ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Maxwell Moment ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL By Dr. John C. Maxwell Benjamin Franklin once wrote, "I would rather have it said, 'he lived usefully' than 'he died rich.'" This wasn't just a casual motto for Franklin. It was the way he lived his life, particularly as an inventor. According to an article on www.pbs.org, Franklin was a practical inventor, specializing in devices that were "designed to help improve or solve everyday problems." These included bifocal lenses, swim fins, the odometer, the Franklin stove and the lightning rod. Franklin could have made a fortune on these inventions. But, in his desire to make them as widely available as possible, he didn't patent a single one. "Instead of seeing the world in terms of how much money he could make, Franklin saw the world in terms of how many people he could help," says Dr. John C. Van Horne, director of the Library Company of Philadelphia. "To Benjamin Franklin, being useful was its own reward." Living life usefully was a reasonable goal for an 18th-century inventor like Franklin. But what about those of us who live and lead in the 21st century? Is usefulness worth striving for today? Yes, it is, and here's why: When you're young and feeling immortal, it's easy to judge your life solely by how personally fulfilling it is, how well you're able to provide for your family, how quickly you're achieving your career goals, etc. Those are all important aspects of life - especially when retirement is decades away. But perspectives have an interesting way of changing with age. When you're 80 years old, looking back over your life while rocking on your front porch, personal satisfaction and career goals may not seem quite as significant as they once did. What will likely be much more important is what you did with your life that was of lasting value. How many people did you help - financially, professionally or personally? What lasting lessons did you teach the people in your sphere of influence? How did your leadership prepare those same individuals for success - in work and life? What did you do - in any area of life - that will outlast you? In other words, what did you do with this gift of living? It will be an important question when you're 80, so it should be an important question now. What makes a life useful? Several things immediately come to mind - giving, loving, serving, helping, encouraging, teaching and mentoring, to name a few. These are all relational activities - done person-to-person, friend-to-friend, leader-to-follower, or peer-to-peer. If you intentionally engage in these behaviors, you are well on your way to living a useful life. There is, however, another way that usefulness is developed - through challenges and adversity. Getting fired. The death of a loved one. Working for a bad boss. Losing a key client. Financial troubles. Leading problematic people. Personal illness. And so on. Though never welcome, difficult events, situations and circumstances often serve as a sort of boot camp for a useful life. More specifically, they increase our usefulness as leaders in three key ways. 1. They build character and increase resiliency for future challenges. There's just something about surviving adversity - even if it's only by the skin of our teeth - that makes us stronger. And stronger people are more useful people. 2. They teach us what not to do next time. This is especially true when the challenge involves working with, or for, a poor leader. Coleman Peterson, the former head of human resources for Wal-Mart Stores Inc., highlighted this in a recent "Leadership Wired" interview. "I have learned leadership style," he said, "not only from those who did things well, but also from those who did not do things well, where I found myself going away saying, 'If I ever have a chance to have a leadership role at that level, this is what I would be sure not to do.'" 3. They make us more empathetic to others who are dealing with adversity. From a leadership standpoint, this is an incredibly valuable benefit. After all, leadership is largely about relationships, and good relationships must involve some degree of caring. One way to show your people that you truly care is to sincerely empathize when they are struggling with a difficult situation. Dwight Thompson said, "You can spend your life any way you want to, but you can only spend it once." So, take your cue from Benjamin Franklin, and do everything you can to live your one life usefully. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Leadership@Large ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ STUMBLING BLOCKS Few leaders would dispute the fact that a severe lack of integrity played a significant role in the corporate scandals that rocked the business world in recent years. Even so, many organizations struggle when it comes to emphasizing ethics and applying the concept of right and wrong to everyday work situations. In a recent e-newsletter, the Center for Creative Leadership outlined several factors that often keep leaders and companies from improving in this area: * Ethics is a sensitive subject. Topics such as morality and character are subjective, and, therefore, can be controversial, the CCL says. * Values aren't valued. "Most organizations have drawn up a statement of values, but in many cases, this statement is largely for show and is given little more than lip service," the e-newsletter states. * Character is tough to change. Some people mistakenly believe that "an individual's character is totally and indelibly determined at an early age," the CCL says. As a result, attempts to develop character in adult employees is viewed as a waste of time. * Formal training is limited. "When ethics is approached head-on in a session, people activate their filters, political correctness kicks in, and it's difficult for them to be authentic," the CCL states. "Day-to-day actions and discussions are where the real development of ethical leadership takes place." For more information, see: http://www.ccl.org/CCLCommerce/news/newsletters/enewsletter/2004/OCTmuddle.aspx?CatalogID=News&CategoryID=Enewsletter(Newsletters) _________________________________________________________________ START TALKING Not every leader is a social butterfly who thrives on constant interaction with his or her team members. But if you tend to be more introverted than extroverted, even to the point of being shy, you must find ways to engage your people or risk being viewed as unapproachable - or worse. "If you stay in your office, they won't think you're shy," leadership coach Stever Robbins writes in an Entrepreneur.com article. "They'll invent all kinds of sinister explanations. They'll think you're aloof, cold, standoffish or uncaring. Then they'll get to the really nasty interpretations. People read the worst possible interpretations into an information void. It's just how humans do things. When they're searching your office closet for hidden bodies, you know it's time to overcome your shyness." If you're not exactly comfortable engaging in casual banter with people you don't know very well, start by asking lots of open-ended questions, Robbins suggests. "Open-ended questions like 'Why?' or 'How?' get people thinking and, more importantly, talking," he writes. "They can talk for hours. You may learn a lot, but even if you just listen, they'll walk away happy and feeling heard." Remember, you may think such "idle chit-chat" is meaningless at first, but it's not. "Conversation from the boss...creates culture and lets people know how to respond," Robbins writes. For more information, see: http://www.Entrepreneur.com/article/0,4621,310780,00.html ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Interview ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TRANSPARENT LEADERSHIP What do keeping your promises, staying composed under pressure and being willing to say "I'm sorry" have in common? According to leadership expert Barbara Pagano and her daughter, business writer Elizabeth Pagano, these three activities are among nine critical behaviors that leaders must embrace if they want to improve, enhance or maintain their credibility. (Others include being overwhelmingly honest, gathering feedback about yourself, letting your guard down, delivering bad news well, watching your mouth and being quick to praise others.) In "The Transparency Edge: How Credibility Can Make or Break You in Business," the Paganos explain how these behaviors - or the lack thereof - can affect a leader's effectiveness. This book, which was named "Fast Company" magazine's book of the month in March 2004, was reviewed in the last issue of "Leadership Wired." We recently spoke to the Paganos to learn more about what it takes to be a transparent leader. Leadership Wired: What prompted you to write a book about transparent leadership? Barbara Pagano: It was two things. First of all, Elizabeth and I took off on a 42-foot sailboat alone with a very steep learning curve. We sailed for over 5 1/2 months and 2,000 miles. We had what I would call a very good mother-daughter relationship, but all of the behaviors that we talked about in the book came to play in that experience. When we took the trip, Elizabeth was thirty-something, and I was 57. We had an honest relationship; it was always important. But we were more honest with one another on that trip than ever before. There was bad news that had to be delivered; there were apologies that had to be made. We experienced those nine behaviors, and as a result, we've transformed what was a very good relationship into a partnership that has just immeasurably gone to places that we didn't know it could exist. The second prompting for the book was that many times, at the end of a coaching session where a leader had received 360-degree feedback on what they do well, I would say, "Okay, what are one or two things that you could do differently to be a more effective, better leader to these people based on what they've said?" And many times, the leaders would choose to concentrate on really the wrong thing. For instance, they would say, "I need to be a better listener to my people." And I would have to come back and say, "You know, you're perceived right now as a person who doesn't keep your promises, so until you fix that, you can try all the good listening skills you want to - it's not going to be nearly as powerful as going back and fixing these things." That happened over and over again - people did not understand how impactful the nine behaviors were. LW: Of the nine behaviors, which have you found to be the most challenging for people to do? Barbara: It really depends on the individual. Some leaders have a hard time admitting their mistakes; they think it's a sign of weakness. But then other leaders are uneasy about sharing information about themselves and they're always on their guard. Elizabeth: Letting your guard down, letting people know you — that's an important way of building trust. People can't trust you if they don't know you. So that's crucial. LW: Along those lines, sharing personal information is a good way for leaders to underscore their humanness and engage their followers. But how do you know what to share - and what to keep to yourself? Barbara: It's important to recognize that we're not talking about skeletons in the closet. There are some stories out there where people have shared very personal information, and at the right time, at the right place, it has made a powerful impact. But the information that one shares is really an individual choice. We're talking about things like: Where did you go to school? Do you like to skydive? What kind of books do you like to read? What are your values? What are your life experiences? LW: And some leaders just feel that's not appropriate to discuss at work? Barbara: Sometimes people don't take the time. For instance, a lot of leaders are so busy and overbooked that they're always in a rush and they don't understand the importance of taking the time to just have a non-business conversation. Or they don't take advantage of getting their work group in a nonworking environment where they can share that kind of information. Lots of times when you have a meeting off-site, people begin to understand that there's a lot of trust that can be built and connections that can be made just by sharing seemingly unimportant information. Elizabeth: There's that old-school attitude about keeping work and personal life separate. Sometimes that can be taken too far. People have to have a sense of who you are, and the way to do that is to share about yourself. For example, I recently interviewed the executive director of a museum in Fort Worth, Texas, who had read our book. She said that she'd had a particularly bad morning - just very stressful with a couple of bad phone calls. She came out into the hall from her office and her staff was gathered around because the museum was getting ready to open. She looked a little stressed, and one of the employees asked her if she was OK. And she ended up spending about 15 minutes telling her employees what kind of stress she was under and what was going on. She said, "I wouldn't have done that typically, but I had read your book and just sort of opened up to them. The next day, I had three employees come up to me and thank me for letting them know a little bit about what goes on with me, what challenges I face." LW: One of the ways you say leaders can increase their credibility is to be "overwhelmingly honest." What exactly do you mean by that? Barbara: I want to cite an example of what happened when we were out speaking on transparent leadership. A gentleman came up, and as he was asking us to sign his book he said, "You know, when you started talking about honesty, I'm thinking, 'I'm an honest person.' By the time you finished, I wasn't so sure." What we are trying to say about being overwhelmingly honest is that it's much more than asking yourself, "Am I an honest person?" Do you talk about how important honesty is to you? Do you create a culture of honesty with the people around you? Elizabeth: Also, being overwhelmingly honest often lies in the little things. We talk about absolute promises vs. relative promises. People are pretty good at the absolute promises - the big ones in life. But it's the relative promises, like returning a phone call when you say you will, where sometimes people drop the ball. Leaders also have to be good at providing very honest "non-answers" like, "I don't know" or, "I know, but I can't tell you right now." LW: You assert that the words, "I'm sorry" are overused and undervalued. How so? Barbara: Our message is that the apology is a profound experience between two people or a group of people and one person. And saying you're sorry for things that aren't really your fault devalues the words. So we just looked at the many times that we hear in the workplace where people are apologizing for things that aren't their fault or aren't their responsibility, and just wanted to draw their attention to the fact that those words, "I'm sorry," should be saved for more significant situations. Elizabeth: There is sometimes a difference between the way men and women use the words "I'm sorry." Very often when women say "I'm sorry," they are empathizing. They are saying, "I feel bad that you are having a bad day; I feel bad that you are going through this." Whereas men typically use the words "I'm sorry" to truly mean an apology for something they did. Therefore, women can be perceived as apologizing too much. It can be a weakness. LW: So when is it appropriate for a leader to say "I'm sorry?" What difference can it make when such an apology is issued? Barbara: A leader needs to say "I'm sorry" when they have made a mistake that has hurt another person or put that person in a tough situation. Elizabeth: It can make a bottom-line difference. We tell a story in our book about the former CEO of EMC Corp., which is a very large, publicly-held technology company. Their products were failing at a rate of almost 50 percent, and it was pushing that company toward bankruptcy. So the CEO went around the country apologizing to their customers. It was not an easy thing for him to do. He not only apologized, but he offered the customers a choice - they could either get EMC products as a replacement, or EMC would provide them with their competitors' products. As a result, EMC only lost one customer and today are a very profitable company. Their customer retention rate during that time was 99 percent. Barbara: All of us can think of a time when an apology was due us and we didn't get it. What happens, then, is that relationship cannot go to the very, very high places that it has the potential to go because there's a crack in the foundation. The apology allows the crack to be healed and the relationship to move on. It's a very powerful action. LW: What role does humor play in establishing credibility as a leader? Barbara: I think that laughing together between people and groups is both healing and energizing. The power of humor to connect people and let us see the human side of one another is significant. And when you can laugh at yourself, that also is showing vulnerability and saying, "I'm not perfect" and building trust. Elizabeth: Laughter is a way of connecting people. There's truth in that old-time saying that a laugh is the shortest distance between two people. LW: As we wrap up, is there anything else that you want people to take away from this interview? Barbara: I spoke with a leader the other day, and we were talking about developing leaders. He said, "I think many people are afraid of their jobs." I thought that was such a powerful statement. What he was expressing was that it takes a lot of courage to do the job of a leader. There's a thread that runs through all of the nine behaviors: it does take courage. We've been told that these are behaviors that people should know are important, that these behaviors are almost common sense. And although that may be true, we also have the data to know that we're not performing these behaviors as well as we possibly could. So I think there's a real message here. Let's make our leadership the best it can be for ourselves and the people we work with, and also for our organizations. Have the courage to embrace the nine behaviors. They are not easy to do, but they are very achievable. - Interview by Lois Flowers, INJOY consulting editor Editor's Note: For more information about transparent leadership, visit the Paganos' website: www.transparencyedge.com. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Quick Quotes ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE IMPORTANCE OF PATIENCE "Genius is nothing but a great aptitude for patience." - George-Louis de Buffon "Patience is a most necessary qualification for business; many a man would rather you heard his story than granted his request." - Lord Chesterfield "Patience is the companion of wisdom." - St. Augustine _________________________________________________________________ Leadership Wired is written by Dr. John C. Maxwell and is available via e-mail on a free subscription basis. You can subscribe at: http://www.INJOY.com/Newsletters. Questions about document transmission or editorial comments? 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